Vacation Around The Corner

This weekend was quite the roller coaster. All my feelings of loneliness came to a head yesterday morning and I came pretty close to a breakdown. I rushed home after church cause I didn't want to be alone in that crowd of people. I threw myself on my bed and unloaded on God until my parents came home from their church service. After eating lunch I tried taking a nap because it usually helps when my depression gets that deep, but sleep wouldn't come. And well for the first time in a while I reached out to friends. God was good to me yesterday cause my friends where there for me. I called Dana and Andy and just hearing Dana's voice was enough to take some of the pain away. I spent the rest of the day with Steve, chatted, drank pop out of glass bottles, ate some pizza, watched some UFC and Ultraviolet. I think that was the first time I opened up to Steve and now in hindsight it was long over due that I did. He's just as frustrated with the lack of friends here in Sudbury as I am.

Friday, July 21st, will be my last day of work before I'm off for two weeks on "vacation". The word vacation is in quotes because it's unpaid, but I could honestly care less right now. This weekend proved to me how much I need to get out of Sudbury at least for a time. I'm hoping to spend at least one of the weeks in Mississauga with Andy, Dana, and Nathan. I'm also thinking about going to Ottawa, but I'm not sure how long to go for. I could go for the long weekend in August, but would that be long enough considering the number of friends I should look up while I'm there? I'm thinking it won't be. I have a friend here that might want to go up that same weekend which would be great for two reasons: to have the company during the nearly 6 hour ride, and the chance to spend some time with her. She'd only be able to go for the long weekend though.

I think I've also decided to stop looking for a house and start looking for an apartment. I honestly don't know how much longer I can live here in Sudbury so I need to stop creating more ties to keep me here. And well I can't think of a bigger tie to make right now than buying a house. It might be a challenge making this point to my dad, but so be it. I NEED to get out from under his roof. So do I look for an apartment for August 1st? I'm thinking yes even if it cuts into my vacation.

Matthew.