Local Friends Wanted - Apply Within
This is one of those posts I'm not sure how much detail to include because I'm not sure how many of my "local" friends actually read my blog. I've been noticing the last few weeks that my depression seems to get worse as the weekend approaches. There are really only two explanations I can think of for this: a week of work drains me emotionally, or I have nothing to look forward to on a weekend.
Well after this weekend I'm thinking that my weekends are the culprit. It's pretty rare that I have anything planned for a weekend. That's all fine and dandy cause that means my weekends are totally free. The problem is it's rare that I can find someone else with nothing to do. So Saturday my dad roped me into helping him build a deck. And yet I obviously didn't miss anything since no one called me, and they Sunday morning at church they all seemed to have had some kind of adventure with other people. I don't seem to have many friends here that call me to do something. And it's just going to get worse as the summer picks up for them. I'm sure that most I won't even see this summer outside of church. But even when I went out for a bit Friday and Sunday night I just ended up being a fifth wheel. I tried to participate in the conversations but more often that not I couldn't get a word in edge-wise.
All this just doesn't help that nagging feeling that I don't really fit in here. Not having any close friends left in Sudbury is really taking it's toll on me. I've tried to reach out and make some new close friends, but they either don't have time ... or don't want to make time for me. And so what on earth am I supposed to do? Keep pursuing them? "Disappear" for a few weeks to see if them miss me? Somehow talk to them without seeming like a needy, selfish, little child? Let's just say I put a little more effort into hammering those nails on Saturday.
Matthew.
Well after this weekend I'm thinking that my weekends are the culprit. It's pretty rare that I have anything planned for a weekend. That's all fine and dandy cause that means my weekends are totally free. The problem is it's rare that I can find someone else with nothing to do. So Saturday my dad roped me into helping him build a deck. And yet I obviously didn't miss anything since no one called me, and they Sunday morning at church they all seemed to have had some kind of adventure with other people. I don't seem to have many friends here that call me to do something. And it's just going to get worse as the summer picks up for them. I'm sure that most I won't even see this summer outside of church. But even when I went out for a bit Friday and Sunday night I just ended up being a fifth wheel. I tried to participate in the conversations but more often that not I couldn't get a word in edge-wise.
All this just doesn't help that nagging feeling that I don't really fit in here. Not having any close friends left in Sudbury is really taking it's toll on me. I've tried to reach out and make some new close friends, but they either don't have time ... or don't want to make time for me. And so what on earth am I supposed to do? Keep pursuing them? "Disappear" for a few weeks to see if them miss me? Somehow talk to them without seeming like a needy, selfish, little child? Let's just say I put a little more effort into hammering those nails on Saturday.
Matthew.
3 Comments:
Ah, yes. All of my friends have left Sudbury too. They have all moved on to bigger and better things, it seems. I find myself doing nothing on my days off too...I sometimes visit some family that lives here, but other than that, I don't go out much either. I tend to spend most of my free time at my Mom's place, or hanging out with my brother and his girlfriend, or taking a day trip with my aunt somewhere.
It's too bad we didn't keep in touch after high school. I've seen you around a few times, but I never have the guts to go up to you and start talking. That's the insecure part of me. It'd be cool to run into you and catch up a bit.
But don't worry. You'll find your niche, whether it's here in Sudbury or somewhere else.
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By
Anonymous, at 11:50 PM
You totally have to tell me who you are now. Now I'm wracking my brain trying to think of high school people that I may see around town, but don't say hello to cause I don't have the guts either. You realize we could just arrange to meet instead of waiting on chance. Email me at mbardeggia[at]gmail.com if you're interested.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Oh and Jeremy? You're a dork. :P
By
Clemster, at 9:42 AM
you should just choose a coffee place and claim it as your own... hang out there every day, become a fixture. Random people will start talking to you, and you'll make new friends, they don't all have to be church friends,... just don't wear your ipod while you're there. ;)
I've been doing it for awhile and love the results!
By
L.Bo Marie, at 4:27 PM
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