About being an introverted guy
One of the good things that came out of me getting kicked out of Aerospace Engineering was going to a career counselor to try and figure out what I wanted to do next. While she didn't help me with the whole career thing she helped me put part of my personality into words like I had never been able to before. I took one of those Myers-Briggs tests that maps out your personality and while explaining the test to us, she gave a great explanation of the difference between an introvert and an extrovert.
Picture a group of strangers at party trying to mingle.
The extroverts will flutter from person to person, engaging them in conversation as a way to discover who is interesting and who isn't. For the extrovert the act of approaching a stranger and starting a conversation means, "Let's talk. I want to see if you're interesting or not."
While this is happening the introverts will hang back in the crowd and just listen to the conversations going on. Once they find a conversation that interests them then they'll approach the stranger and start talking with them. So, for an introvert, the act of approaching a stranger and starting a conversation means, "I find you interesting so let's talk."
Following me so far? I hope so cause this is when the revelation for me came.
Let's flip things the other way for a sec. When an introvert is approached by a stranger in the back of their mind they are thinking, "They are talking to me to see if I'm interesting." No biggie. Makes sense right? Well when an introvert is approached by a stranger in the back of their mind they are thinking, "They are talking to me because they find me interesting."
When things get "fun" is when two people of the opposite sex meet cause then the word interested often gets misinterpreted as likes.
So for myself, being an introverted person, when approached by a woman in the back of my mind I'm thinking that she must see something she likes about me if she's coming to talk to me. At that point I'm not trying to think about whether she's an introvert or an extrovert. I'm just assuming that she thinks like me. And this is why I get crushes so easily. If a woman shows interest in me simply by saying hello then it gives me a reason to be interested in her. That interest all too easily turns into like for me. I think I honestly say that there aren't many women that I've met in my life that I haven't had a crush on at one point or another. And well if you're one of those women I've approached then yes: I find you interesting. Maybe I think you're attractive, maybe I think you're funny, maybe you're a fellow musician.... the list of reasons is long. But does it mean I like/have a crush on you? It honestly could. But I've known for a long time that I crush easy so I'm a patient guy and I'll usually wait a while to see if the crush with last before taking any kind of action.
So yeah, this if my first attempt at writing this down. I've explained it to several people but it's always different explaining stuff like this in person. I'll prolly end up editing this a couple times before I let it be. heh heh
Matthew.
Picture a group of strangers at party trying to mingle.
The extroverts will flutter from person to person, engaging them in conversation as a way to discover who is interesting and who isn't. For the extrovert the act of approaching a stranger and starting a conversation means, "Let's talk. I want to see if you're interesting or not."
While this is happening the introverts will hang back in the crowd and just listen to the conversations going on. Once they find a conversation that interests them then they'll approach the stranger and start talking with them. So, for an introvert, the act of approaching a stranger and starting a conversation means, "I find you interesting so let's talk."
Following me so far? I hope so cause this is when the revelation for me came.
Let's flip things the other way for a sec. When an introvert is approached by a stranger in the back of their mind they are thinking, "They are talking to me to see if I'm interesting." No biggie. Makes sense right? Well when an introvert is approached by a stranger in the back of their mind they are thinking, "They are talking to me because they find me interesting."
When things get "fun" is when two people of the opposite sex meet cause then the word interested often gets misinterpreted as likes.
So for myself, being an introverted person, when approached by a woman in the back of my mind I'm thinking that she must see something she likes about me if she's coming to talk to me. At that point I'm not trying to think about whether she's an introvert or an extrovert. I'm just assuming that she thinks like me. And this is why I get crushes so easily. If a woman shows interest in me simply by saying hello then it gives me a reason to be interested in her. That interest all too easily turns into like for me. I think I honestly say that there aren't many women that I've met in my life that I haven't had a crush on at one point or another. And well if you're one of those women I've approached then yes: I find you interesting. Maybe I think you're attractive, maybe I think you're funny, maybe you're a fellow musician.... the list of reasons is long. But does it mean I like/have a crush on you? It honestly could. But I've known for a long time that I crush easy so I'm a patient guy and I'll usually wait a while to see if the crush with last before taking any kind of action.
So yeah, this if my first attempt at writing this down. I've explained it to several people but it's always different explaining stuff like this in person. I'll prolly end up editing this a couple times before I let it be. heh heh
Matthew.
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